meri (broken_gizmo) wrote,

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But just pals...

Earlier today, dvorak came into the living room and handed me a copy of Newsweek and said, "You have to read the interview with Bert and Ernie," then walked out.


And, he's right. It's hilarious. Transcribed here for your perusal.

First the Muppets took Manhattan. Now they're taking the whole darn country. Kermit learned last week that he's getting a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, and his friends Bert and Ernie just released a feature-length solo video, "Bert & Ernie's Word Play." Newsweek's Katherine Stroup talked to the two fuzzy roomies (her interview is brought to you by the letters Q and A):

Why did you decide to make a movie?
ERNIE: We were just playing around with words, and somehow it ended up on tape.
BERT: Bootleg, I think.

But why are words so important?
B: We need words to sing and write and to talk on the phone. Without words we'd all have to get jobs as mimes.
E: And Newsweek would be blank.

Bert, about those eyebrows, would you ever consider waxing or tweezing?
B: No, no, no. Girls go gaga over them. Never underestimate the power of the unibrow.

And Ernie, why does Rubber Ducky make bath time so much fun?
E: He's bright, cute, and yellow. He goes squeak squeak. And underwater he goes glurg glurg. What could be better than that?
B: Bubbles?
E: Well, bubbles and ducky together is especially good. But Rubber Ducky is my favorite pal. Well, except for Bert.

But just pals...
E: Bert's my best pal. Rubber Ducky doesn't have a unibrow.

Have you talked about getting separate places?
E: Oh, no, of course not.
B: I talk to Ernie about it all the time. I think it's time for him to leave the next.
E: But without Bert, who'd clean up? Who'd sweep? Who'd vacuum?
B: Excellent point.

Bert, last year there were pictures of you and Osama bin Laden? That wasn't really you, was...
[At this moment, the puppets' publicist breaks in: "That is totally irrelevant! That has nothing to do with us! We won't talk about that!"]
B: Uhhh, I guess I have no comment.

Reprinted without permission. Stroup, Katherine. "Bert and Ernie." Newsweek 8 Jul 2002: 63.



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