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Dream data: friendships and crushes.

During my high school years, there were two people on whom I had serious, long-lasting crushes on that never developed into relationships. Long-lasting as in all four years of high school, and I still find myself thinking fondly of them every now and again. One of these people knows about the crush, as I told him when he resurfaced into my life a couple of years ago, and we still chat occassionally, though not often, as we are both very bad about answering email. The other person never knew about the crush (at least, I don't think he did), and I have not seen him since graduation day, over 11 years ago now. (!)

He was the one featured in my dreams last night.

He (I shall not refer to him by name, just cuz; I'm not horribly comfortable with relating who he is, not that any of you reading this would know who he is; well, you would, Karen, but that's neither here nor there) and I spent a lot of time together (in the dream, that is). We were on some odd boathouse thing that would float around and touch down at odd places with lots of nature and parks and water and lots of mutual friends. He and I weren't a couple. Instead, we were very good friends, best friends, who were comfortable with spending lots of time together and sharing physical contact (no, not like that; just hugs, lounging together, sharing space), and laughing and crying and ... being friends. It was really the type of relationship I'd always wanted to have with him, I think (or really, one I feel has been lacking in my life in general).

In the dream, we would hike together (I was my current age in the dream, but the shape and weight I had in high school, which is to say less than half of the current me) and swim together and eat together and go on drives together. When on the boat, we would play cards and read and talk and debate (one thing we did well, he and I, was debate (in real life, that is)). We were always surrounded by people, other friends sharing our journey, having their own good times, sharing their good times with us, but whenever the crowds thinned or people broke off into smaller groups, we would be together.

It was a good, solid friendship with someone from my past that I miss, and who I wish I had gotten to know better when I had the chance. All in all, a nice dream. I wonder where he is now, and what his life is like. I highly doubt he ever thinks of me, but if he does, I hope it is with a smile.
  • Current Mood: nostalgic nostalgic
  • cat /dev/audio: Rush: The Fountain of Lamneth
I admire you for having a dream like that, and being able to just say "nice dream, I hope he has a great life". I'm afraid I'd wake up all angstful for what 'could have been', then be bitter at myself for it for at least the rest of the day.

I think the reason that I didn't land in that space is that there was no chance of that relationship ever happening with this person. While we were in many of the same classes for 4.5 years (we had gone to 8th grade together, as well), we never really had any social interaction. We shared an extracurricular activity or two, we were in the same classes because we were both in the GT/AP classes, but we never really interacted outside of school. There was one point where I thought maybe he liked me, and one of my teachers even asked me about it, but it really never came close to anything being school acquaintances. So, it would be really hard for me to make that mental leap to "what could have been." That, and the fact that it's been more than a decade. I used to think of him quite a bit, and wonder, but time has taken the edge off of that.

Positive mental balance and maturity is a good thing. I wish I were more like you.

I think you're being overly generous in your assessment of me. Trust me, "positive mental balance" and "maturity" are not two terms or phrases that are normally used to describe me. :)