So, I'm watching Third Watch, and one of the firemen is giving a tour of the station to a bunch of elementary school kids (like, 2nd - 3rd graders). A bored paramedic is wandering around upstairs in the firehouse, looking for something to do. He notices the pole (you know, the pole), and leaps on it... then gets stuck. He tries to wiggle back onto the ledge he jumped from, and falls down through the opening in the floor, landing on his back. His vision blurs, and as he's shaking his head, the children from the field trip all crowd around him. As the closest child approaches him, he says, "I thought I was dead, and... that my own personal hell consisted of evil little midgets with sticky fingers, missing teeth, and pigtails... Children." And then he started screaming.
See, that's how I feel about children, most days. (Yes, yes. Keep your hate mail to yourself.)