default, superpanda, panda

I am full of hate.

Conversation heard outside at the office.

<Tiny Blonde Girl 1> Oh my god. Have you seen [foo]? She's put on so much weight!
<Tiny Blonde Girl 2> I know! She must be at least a size 12 now!
<Tiny Blonde Girl 1> Wouldn't you just die?
<Tiny Blonde Girl 2> If I ever got that fat, I'd just have to kill myself.
<Tiny Blonde Girl 1> Or at least never go outside, so other people wouldn't have to see me.

Did I mention, full of hate?
  • Current Mood: fat
DISCLAIMER: I am not a nice person.

Go up to the perpetrator and say, as though you hadn't heard anything, "You know, I can give you name of a great dermatologist... you look to be about 25 but your skin looks like it's 50... if you don't do something about it soon you're going to look like Alexa, Witch-Queen of the Sharpei People."

Or just take out your cell phone, pretend to be talking on it, and say kinda loudly, "Oh my God... you can't believe these people in front of me on line... she's complaining about people being a size 12 but she looks like Hair by Medusa and she's dressed in this horrible knockoff Enzo Angiolini... can you believe it? I mean, hel-LO, no credibility gap there at all!"

Or even go up to her and say, "Y'know, I feel sorry for your boyfriend... having sex with you must be like fucking a burlap sack full of chicken bones."