meri (broken_gizmo) wrote,

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Three dead sheep, a snake and a horse.

Oh goodness.

Yesterday's forays into the shopping world were insane. I picked up Nyarla, and then we went to the office to meet coyote. Then, we drove up to College Park, battling traffic that was fairly bad for no obvious reason. We got to Ikea and found a place to park in the cavernous parking lot and ventured in.

It seems that coyote had never really been to an Ikea before. She was... both impressed and disturbed by the sheer size of the undertaking. But, we wandered around the showroom, duly taking note of items that we wanted to get or investigate. (Including me suffering a brief memont of panic when we finally found the bed I want only to see that the tag said that it was sold out. Luckily, the tag was incorrect, and I got the full-serve furniture pickup thingie. Yay.)

We reached the end of the showroom, which, of course, ends up at the cafeteria. At this point, coyote apparently thought that we were done, and not really just now reaching the really dangerous part of the adventure. We stopped and got a light lunch, and munched on that while taking a much-needed break from walking around. There was a guy there who was very amused by my t-shirt. (I was wearing a shirt proclaiming

I am the Dread Pirate Roberts™ #73249.
Ask about franchise opportunities in your area.

He shouted across the cafeteria: "The Dread Pirate Roberts? Oh no! Whatever shall we do!?" to which I responded, "Rawr! Sign up for a franchise!" He laughed and wandered off with his kid.

We finished lunch, and wandered downstairs to face the true danger. Things really went ok until we hit the 'self-serve' furniture area. It really annoys me that, when you're planning on buying large quantities of really bulky things, you can't just give them a list and say, "Please take these things to the home delivery section for me, and give me a tag to pay for everything." But, you can't do that, so the three of us wrangled boxes and boxes and more boxes, sometimes with the help of friendly strangers, but more often without. Then, I got them to set aside the "full-serve" furniture things and they gave me the tags, and we took our carts to the checkout.

Oh dear. The checkout. There was this horribly rude floor manager who was determined to humiliate her employee cashier and enrange me and coyote and Nyarla. We finally managed to check out, and went to the cafe so we could rest for a bit and fume a lot. coyote went back and railed at the manager lady, and got her name, and we all felt a little better.

We camped in Ikea, waiting for them to have my furniture ready for pickup. I ran down to the car and grabbed my phone, where I had left it four hours earlier when we arrived, and got in touch with Vger. He was having... an unpleasant day, and had to go. Oops. Furniture finally became ready, and I carted it one desk over to the Home Delivery area, and plotted to have my big purchases delivered on Monday.

Then, uh. Well, we played an interesting game of Tetris, fitting the three of us and our non-furniture belongings (other than coyote's desk, or Nyarla's chairs) into my poor little Neon. We had just finished this process when Vger called back, and we plotted to go up to his place and venture forth for food from there. Unfortunately, when we got there, he was mired in a call for work, and feeling ill because he hadn't eaten, and pre-migraney. Fooey.

We lolled around for a bit, Nyarla and I giving coyote backrubs and sinus rubs and footrubs and brushing her hair. We also finally convinced Vger to let us go pick up food, since it didn't look like he was going to be able to flee this problem for quite some time, and he was crashing badly. So, coyote, Nyarla, and I went and fetched kabob thingies from the Afghani place, and went back and fed him.

After food, we said our goodbyes, and made our way back down to Virginia, where we wrangled coyote's belongings out of the car and into hers, and then I deposited Nyarla at home, where she gave me brownies and goop for my neck. Then home. Where I collapsed.

We spent five hours at Ikea. And you know what's really terrifying? coyote and I are, at this moment, plotting to go to a different Ikea in a few minutes.

Oh goodness.

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