Last night, I tried giving packet some Whiskas or some such, since she had shown interest in such things at Nyarla's house, and it's easier to dump out a packet (hee) than to dig things out of a can. Amusingly, packet reacted to the food in the exact same way she did at Nyarla's: she licked up all of the broth, but left the actual meat bits.
Hrmph. Back to the drawing board. In the meantime, her feeder has been filled with the vile cat food, so she's set for the weekend. I still think that this whole illness thing was a ploy to get me to start feeding her wet food.