Swiped from autumnesquirrel, zonereyrie, lizzielizzie, countless others.
- Are you an innie or an outie?
- Have you ever worn bell-bottoms?
- Have you ever written a song?
- Can you make change for a dollar right now?
- Have you ever been in the opposite sex's public toilet?
- Have you ever smelled your own feet?
Sure. You try running cross country and not having smelly feet.
- Do you like catsup on or beside your fries?
- Can you touch your tongue to your nose?
Not without some modifying surgery.
- Have you ever been a boy/girl scout?
- Have you ever broken a mirror?
- Have you ever put your tongue on a frozen pole?
Can't say that I have.
- What is your biggest pet peeve?
You've got to be kidding me. Just one? Um. Um. Grammar and spelling issues. Inconsiderate people. Americanized pronunciation of Japanese words. The 'word' kewl.
- Do you slurp your drink after it's gone?
- Have you ever blown bubbles in your milk?
Of course! Especially chocolate milk.
- Would you rather eat a Big Mac or a Whopper?
Erm. If forced, a Whopper, I guess.
- Have you ever gone skinny-dipping?
- When you are at the grocery store, do you ask for paper or plastic?
Depends on the store / type of bag. At Fresh Fields / Whole Foods / Bread and Circus, I'll ask for paper, since the bags have handles and whatnot. At Giant / Safeway / etc, I'll ask for plastic.
- True or False: You would rather eat steak than pizza.
- Did you have a baby blanket?
Yes, and... Hrm. I wonder where it is. I think I might have left it in Portland. Sad.
- Have you ever tried to cut your own hair?
I succeeded, even.
- Have you ever sleepwalked?
Walked, played the saxophone, drove, took tests, fixed mail servers....
- Have you ever had a birthday party at McDonalds?
- Can you flip your eye-lids up?
... Not that I'm aware of, and I'm not inclined to try it. Knowing me, I'd get stuck like that.
- Are you double jointed?
A couple of my fingers are, vaguely, but not really, no.
- If you could be any age, what age would you be?
The Iron Age.
- Have you ever gotten gum stuck in your hair?
- Have you ever thrown up after a roller coaster ride?
No. I've never been on a roller coaster.
- What is your dream car?
Ooof. Right now, I really really want a MINI Cooper. I blame frozencapybara.
- What is your favorite cartoon of all time?
- Would you go swimming in shallow waters where, one year earlier, a shark had attacked a child?
I'm pretty sure I have done this. Living in Hawaii and all, you know.
- Have you ever eaten a dog biscuit?
- If you were in a car sinking in a lake, what would you do first?
To steal autumnesquirrel's answer: Undo my seat belt.
- Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
- Can you pick something up with your toes?
Yes. For appropriate values of 'something.'
- How many remote controls do you have in your house?
All of them, I think.
- Have you ever fallen asleep in school?
Oh goodness, yes.
- How many times have you flown in an airplane in the last year?
Um. Erm. Oh geez. Massachusetts ... 6 times? Chicago once. So, 7.
- How many foreign countries have you visited?
Japan, Germany, Switzerland, Kuwait, Thailand. I think I'm missing some.
- If you were out of shape, would you compete in a triathlon if you were somehow guaranteed to win a big, gaudy medal?
.... That makes no sense at all.
- Would you rather be rich and unhappy, or poor and happy?
Poor and happy. Why is 'rich and happy' never a choice, here?
- If you fell into quicksand, would you try to swim or try to float?
My brain would know I'm supposed to try to float, but I'm bad about listening to my brain when panicking.
- Do you ask for directions when you are lost?
Yes. I am missing the gene that allows me to use a street map with any degree of success.
- Have you ever had a Mexican jumping bean?
*looks wary* Probably not?
- Are you more like Cinderella or Alice in Wonderland?
Wait. You mean I'm not Alice? Does this mean I should stop following this damned rabbit?
- Would you rather have an ant farm with no ants or a box of crayons with broken points?
Crayons! Why in the world do crayons need points ot be good?
- Do you prefer light or dark bread?
- Do you prefer scrambled or fried eggs?
Fried. Though, really, 'hard boiled' or 'pickled'.
- Have you ever been in a car that ran out of gas?
- Do you talk in your sleep?
Frequently, and at length.
- Would you rather shovel snow or mow the lawn?
Erg. Um. Isn't there a handy neighborhood child I can bribe to do this?
- Would you rather be bitten by a poisonous snake or constricted by a python?
Neither! Oh, wait. Um. Probably the poison. Depends on how fast-acting it is, I guess.
- Have you ever played in the rain?
- Which of these do you think is more dangerous: an angry bear or a hungry white shark?
It is very hard to climb a tree to get away from a shark.
- Would you climb a very high tree to save a kitten?
Probably. Of course, I'd then likely fall out of the tree, but that's not the question, now is it?
- Can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?
- Do you drink pepsi or coke?
Coke, though if I'm drinking diet drinks, I prefer Diet Pepsi to Diet Coke.
- What's your favorite number?
- If you were a car, would you be an SUV or a sports car?
I'd probably be a Yugo.
- Have you ever accidentally taken something from a hotel?
Probably, you know, while taking all the other things on purpose.
- Would you blow your nose at the dinner table?
Depends on the situation.
- Have you ever slipped in the bathtub?
Heh. Yes. Chipped the tub, broke my arm.
- Do you use regular or deodorant soap?
- Have you ever locked yourself out of the house?
I used to do this intentionally on a daily basis in Hawaii. (I didn't have a house key, I just knew how to break in.) Have done it accidentally many times as well. And let's not start on hotel rooms or cars, mmmkay?
- Would you rather make your living as a singing cowboy or as one of the Simpsons voices?
I have always wanted to be a cartoon character.
- If you could invite any movie star to your home for dinner, who would it be?
Oooof. Kevin Spacey? Christopher Walken? James Spader? Johnny Depp? Ian McKellan? Morgan Freeman? Gabriel Byrne? Willem Dafoe? Robert DeNiro? Oh yeesh. Lauren Tom? Julia Stiles? Ming Na? Asia Carrera?
- Have you ever gotten a truck driver to honk his horn?
Yup. From within the cab, even.
- Which would you rather live with: a huge nose or crossed eyes?
Gimme da nose.
- Would you hang out with someone your best friend didn't like?
- Would you hang out with someone your best friend liked, but you didn't like?
Depends. How much time would I be able to spend with my best friend outside of the context of this other person?
- Have you ever returned a gift?
Hm. I don't think so.
- Would you give someone else a gift that had been given to you?
Hrm. Depends. (I get to say that a lot.) I'd probably ask the original giver.
- If you could attend an Olympic Event, what would it be?
Figure skating or gymnastics.
- How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Oy.25 or 30 or so.
- If your grandmother gave you a gift that you already have, would you tell her?
- Do you sing in the car?
Oh my, yes.
- Would you rather jump into a dumpster or into a vat of honey?
- What is your favorite breed of dog?
French Bulldog. ;)
- Would you donate money to feed starving animals in the winter?
You say this as if it's a hypothetical thing.
- If you were a bicycle, would you be a stingray or a mountain bike?
- What is your least favorite fruit?
Papaya. (I know. I know.)
- What kind of fruit have you never had?
Durian. I plan to keep it that way.
- If you won a $5,000 shopping spree to any store, which store would you pick?
Right now? Ikea. Need to outfit a new apartment. ;) In general, um... Levenger? Um... Oh! Oh! Amazon!
- What brand sports apparel do you wear the most?
This has a certain amount of presumption inherent in the question, don't you think?
- Are/were you a good student?
Depends. Am I a good learner, a good seeker of knowledge? Yes. Am I good at going to class and sitting still and paying attention and whatnot? No.
- Among your friends, who could you arm wrestle and beat?
Uh. Um. Erm. Hrm. Oh wait, I have some pacifist friends. That might work.
- If you had to choose, what branch of the military would you be in?
Navy. Water! (Though, I guess Coast Guard would work, too. Most live rounds and all.)
- Would you ever parachute out of a plane?
Yup. I think it's neat. ;)
- What do you think is your best feature?
- If you were to win a grammy, what kind of music would it be for?
- What is your favorite season?
- How many members do you have in your immediate family?
That's an interesting question. I am an only child, with two living biological parents. However, I consider my friends to be my family these days.
- Which of the five senses is most important to you?
Oh gads. I can't imagine losing any of them. Eep.
- Would you be a more successful painter or singer?
Um. Erm. Does like house painting count? If so, the former.
- How many years will/did you end up going to college?
Went for 5. Will probably go back someday.
- Have you ever had surgery?
- Would you rather be a professional figure skater or professional football player?
- What do you like to collect?
Beads, books, movies, music, office supplies, Sanrio things, Tare Panda things, pandas, Everest stuff, candles, barrettes, silly and inexplicable things.