June 14th, 2003

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Facing fears.

So, I have this weird fear, and I've decided to try to face it and conquer it.

It's a silly fear, really, and one that I have not always had, at least not to this degree.

Events of recent days have shown me how much value I can get from conquering this fear, and how much comfort it can bring me. So, I am going to set about actively trying to work against it.

The fear? I'm afraid of the phone.

I mean, not of the phone itself, but of using it. I am constantly terrified of bothering the person on the other end of the line, and this has become more pronounced by the fact that I can generally communicate with the people I care about via email or IRC or some instant messaging protocol or another, all of which can be ignored by the recipient if they choose.

But, at the same time, I've come to realize that no amount of ASCII replaces the sound of a loved one's voice, the ability to hear laughter or pain or joy. And, I miss that.

I'm going to try to overcome this, and the best way I can think of (and jehanna concurs) is to start calling the people I talk to a lot already via those electronic media. So, if you're one of those people, consider yourself warned. If you would rather I not put you on the list of victimsringees, then please let me know. I do not wish to annoy, and knowing that I wouldn't be might help make the calls. Hell, I don't want to be an opt-out caller. If you would like to talk to me on the phone, let me know, and I'll add you to the list, so to speak.

I know this is ridiculous, but it's important to me. One does not preclude the other.

Besides, I have all these free minutes on my cell phone.

Thanks, all. Talk to you soon. :)
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Grilled cheese sammich (swiss and pepperjack on homemade wheat bread), fruit salad, and a big glass of iced water.

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Hand update.

I can kind of feel my left hand now, at least. It's still numb, in that "it fell asleep, but is slowly having feeling return to it" sort of way.

How odd.
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[meme] Interview questions from miabella

(First, lothie, I know I still owe you answers. But, you asked the hardest questions out of all the interviewers, and it's taking a lot of thought. :) )

  1. i see you have a strong interest in hawai'i. (i've been to maui 5 times and briefly to lana'i and honolulu.) when i go back, where should i visit, what should i do, and why?

    Oooh. I am very much an Oahu girl, so my answers are very likely to be Oahu specific. Consider yourself warned. :)

    • The Contemporary Museum. Some great sculpture and artwork on gorgeous grounds, tucked away in a residential neighborhood. An easy and fun way to kill an afternoon.

    • As long as you're up that way, go on up to the top of Tantalus and check out the views. You can see the entire southern side of Oahu from here. If you're feeling particularly sneaky, go up at night. (You used to be able to go up at night, but they've put up gates (easily defeatable) at the base of the park. The view is much more impressive at night.)

    • Leonard's Malasadas. Really. Malasadas are Hawaii's answer to the beignet, and are delicious. Accept no substitutes, go to Leonard's.

    • Bishop Museum. Probably the best place to get a one-stop lesson about Hawaiian culture and history in the islands.

    • You must do the Circle Island drive. Take Kamehameha Highway and Kalanianaole Highway and drive the perimeter of the island. All sorts of neat things.

    • Kailua Beach at sunrise. Kailua Beach is, in my admittedly biased opinion, the most beautiful beach on the island, and is only improved by the magic of sunrise.

    • Any L&L Drive-Inn. Get yourself a plate lunch, the true Hawaiian meal. :)

    • Valley of the Temples in Kaneohe. A beautiful mutli-faith cemetary tucked against the Koolau mountains.

    • Hawaiian music concerts, preferably under the stars at the Waikiki Shell

    Erm. *looks at the list, pulled off the top of her head* Well, you asked. :) And I'm sure I could keep listing things for hours to come. But, I'll stop now.

  2. if you could have any job (think "dream job"), what would it be and why?

    Hmmm. That's very hard. My friends and I have joked around (well, kind of joked around) about starting this place in Hawaii called Pipeline. At last count, it was to be a combination (deep breath) internet cafe / coffee shop / comic shop / music store / movie theater / dance studio / restaurant / craft store / ice cream shop / ... I'm sure I'm forgetting other things. Basically, all the people I love doing the things they love in a place I love. That, however, is highly unlikely.

    More realistically, I'd love to find a way to combine technology and the net with education in a meaningful way. I know that's horribly vague, but I can't really find a more concrete answer. I think that the world would be a much better place if we could find ways to engender a love of learning in people, and made it easy. I'd like to help with that.

  3. i see you have a strong interest in words and writing. how did that develop?

    Oh goodness. I started reading at a very young age, and was self-taught. (Surprised the heck out of my parents when I started reading to them.) I never looked back. I was a literature major in college simply because I couldn't believe that people would let me read for four years, and then give me a little slip of paper at the end of it. (Well, presuming I'd graduated, which I didn't.) Words are incredibly important to me; finding a way to convey meaning and emotion through words, to try to let people feel what I feel, see what I see... that's so powerful to me.

  4. we have so many interrests in common (!), how can it be that we haven't interacted very much through lj? : )

    I have no earthly clue! I found you via resilient's journal, and you seemed like a very interesting person in your own right. I have yet to see anything to disprove this theory. ;)

  5. what important life lesson have you learned that you think is important for people to consider? (just choose one and tell me about it.)

    "If you choose not to decide / you still have made a choice."

    Inaction is often more harmful, more decisive than action, and can have as large, or greater consequences. It's an easy one to let pass you by, and I've been guilty of it all too often.
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